DECOY. 2004

Director: Matt Hastings

Reviewed by Paghat the Ratgirl

I awaited this film with some curiosity after reading the mixed reviews. Would it be "worst movie ever" as some thought, or a sleeper as excellent as Ginger Snaps which had great cinematography, great script, great direction, & great performances.

Well, Decoys ain't no B-horror gem like Ginger Snaps lemme tellya. Bimbo babes from outer space grow snakes & a big pecker from between their boobs, force straight men to give them BJs, then the guys die. Finally the hero flame-torches the pecker-girls & runs off to celebrate with the "good" girl of the story.

[SPOILER ALERT] Then -- & I don't care that I'm giving away the idiotic "surprise" -- then the "good" girl turns out also to have a pecker between her boobs too & forces the hero to blow her & he dies, then credits roll. [END SPOILER ALERT]

This is just about the dumbest excuse for a movie ever. It might've made a so-so misogynist porn fantasy for guys with a combination of phobia & fetish for trannies, but it's too wussy a film even to score an extra point as pervy sleaze.

Cronenberg gets mentioned once in the script; apparently someone was inspired by Cronenberg's pecker-sized venereal disease film Shivers (aka They Came from Within), a bad film that seems glorious compared to this one.

copyright by Paghat the Ratgirl

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