Ghost Lake
Director: Jay Woelfel

Director: Ashlee White

Reviewed by Paghat the Ratgirl

Ghost LakeOh no! Water zombies! Don't go near Ghost Lake (2004)!

A century ago, a new lake was formed by industrialists building a dam, with the residents of a valley town drowned. Now they're back.

Only the child in this turkey could act & everyone else was laughable -- not to mention the odious soundtrack, terrible photography, amateurish editing, & generalized overall ineptitude. It gives hope to all would-be filmmakers too lazy to learn anything about making films before they leap in.

The unfortunate actors were lost in a script that was even worse than their acting, as the damned story had no internal logic.

I could practically see the amateurish scriptwriter struggling over his laptop trying to come up with another twist or complexity stupider than the last one.

Ghost LakeOr to pad out the dialogue with further banalities & unintentionally comical didactic patches -- like the explanation that the number 13 is the key to everything that's happening, but leaving out how the hell that would be.

If every scene had been written on the fly minutes before filming it couldn't've been dumber.

The lack of internal consistency due to a complete lack of basic storytelling skill doomed the actors to looking even worse than they might actually be.

Forgiveness is possible for a no-budget affair that has to make due, but when acting & the writing is this abysmal, that's not the result of no budget but of no talent.

Corpses of Doom Four teenagers, returning from a camping trip, discover their hometown has become afflicted with Corpses of Doom (2006), a ten minute short, including the trailer tacked on as prelude.

The young actors with heavy Scottish accents recite their lines in a charming, liesurely manner. They are director Ashlee White as Maria, Chris Jenman as Bernard, another young director, Steven Ward (who made Evil Doll, 2004) as Charlie, & Robert Scott as Lucas.

It begins with threats on the radio, recited apparently by a zombie hive-mind on every station. The kids turn off the radio, thinking it's a campaign for a new George Romero film. But within a minute one of the teenagers, Lucas, comes in from outside complaining that some guy bit him.

Corpses of DoomPeering from a window, Bernard & Maria see zombies, though we don't, given the limited cast.

Lucas meanwhile bites Charlie & begins to feed through his belly button. It must tickle, as Charlie sports a shit-eating grin the whole time.

"I thought Lucas was vegetarian," says comic book nerd Bernard, arming himself with a hatchet, & handing some sort of poker to Marie telling her to jam it up the zombies' noses. Two young zombies (Conor White & Michael Jobosz) enter by the unlocked door, & the film is over.

Very cute student film, incompelte as to story, but with several tiny in-jokes for comics & horror film fans, & a whimsical overall attitude. The director says the entire cost of the film was 276 pounds, & that was mostly for catering. It can be viewed free at youtube.

Continue to the next batch of zombies:
28 Days Later (2002) & 28 Weeks Later (2007)

copyright by Paghat the Ratgirl

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