Alan (Johnny Cantiveros) cheats on his wife (Danica English), who shows up & stabs scissors clear through the head of the girlfriend (Suzanne Serwatuk).
Another guy (Roy Tupper) has a girlfriend (Linda Stang) who finds out he's been doing his secretary, so she hacks him up with with a butcher knife. The next killer is a vampire babe (Nicole Hancock) who is eating part of her recently slain boyfriend.
These pointy fragments (as opposed to pointless fragments) are merely unrelated scenes to start off the X-rated Hell Hath No Fury (2006) with workmanlike gore gags.
The only thing intriguing about these fragments is how they make one wonder if the filmmakers can ever bring such random pieces together in a single story as the film progresses.
The answer to that pressing query is a resounding "no." Instead, we get a clumsily patched together "anthology" of four short films, & half a fifth film as part of the frame, besides the gore-teasers at the beginning.
The frame & teasers were directed by Vince D'Amato including all the coffeehouse scenes that clumsily knit the rest together.
The spliced-in segments are mismatches for style & content because they were made by different directors.
The main part of the frame-story is separately titled Night Shift at the Coffee House & is the only portion that is not a stand-alone short. A black urban cowboy (Donny James Lucas) strides into a coffeehouse & sits down with a stranger (Aidan Simpson) who we shall call Dorf because he's an unnamed dweeb & Dorf's a good name for a dweeb.
Dorf tells Urban Cowboy the seat is taken, that his vampire girlfriend will be there soon, but instead of moving to another seat, the Urban Cowboy decides to tell Dorf a horror story, as if that had any context.
Thus begins a short film Anna Lynn (2006) directed by Rob Carpenter, about the simpleminded or perhaps only mentally ill Anna Lynn (Bonny Giroux), a psycho gardener Mr. Edwards (Michael Roberds), a captive young man with no personality to speak of, & others who participate in violent escapades. It soon climaxes in an incomprehensible denoument involving the supernatural, none of which makes a lick of sense.
Then it's Dorf's turn to tell a terrible tale to Urban Cowboy.
So begins Prey (2006) directed by Vince D'Amato. It's a tale of a torture-rapist (Kevan Ohtsji), his witchy victim (Jennifer Angiers), her revenge by hypnosis, his gory self-inflicted death, & pointless police investigation.
Again, it's so badly told it barely makes sense, but has some okay gore-gags along its short route.
The coffeehouse fags next intimate that a vampire tale will be told, but before that happens, another customer of the coffeehouse leaves & we follow him to a video store where he briefly suffers, as we suffer, from the monologue of the film geek (Edward Vint) behind the counter.
We're now watching the short comedic weird tale punningly titled Three Degrees Kelvin (2005) directed by Peter Speers, the only item in this anthology that isn't an exploitation gore-short, but just a little time travel tale.
Kelvin (Todd Hann) rents Warmonger, goes home to watch it, when there's a knock at the door & it's himself. He enters & joins himself on the sofa. They fight over the remote before settling into watching the film together.
Then they talk. "I'm you from the future." We're never told how or why he's there from the future, though it's seemingly only so that he can watch Warmonger a second time without paying a late fee for keeping it an extra day.
Eventually a third Kelvin will arrive, with even less explanation why. In its own absurdist manner, this is an amusing tale, & the first component of the clumsy patchwork movie to actually be coherent & imaginative.
Meanwhile back at the coffeehouse, Urban Cowboy shares another tale of with Dorf, which is again about rape & revenge, as what little imagination this compilation possesses is by now used up & it's time for more porny violent sex imposed by a masked attacker, followed by pretty convincing traumatized response, followed by a second rape the victim mistakenly mistook for the same person.
This one's called Torched (2004) & it's directed by Ryan Nicholson. It is the longest of the components at about three-quarters hour so can be developed as a better story (as such things go).
The startling script, & a key performance by Michelle Boback which is unexpectedly filled with convincing passion, hate, & terror, make Torch cult-film worthy, & too bad it's kind of lost in the two hours of lesser filmmaking.
The victim thinks she knows who raped her. When she's attacked a second time, she turns the tables & the torture-porn gets started in earnest. This includes graphic stuff done to the guy's penis that'll be uncomfortable, for a change, for the male viewers instead of always just for the female viewers. This segment is chalk full of gross-out violent sex & slaughter.
When our victim-turned-psycho realizes the two rapes may have been two different men, she goes on another rampage with a skillsaw for a few more gore-gags, with four more victims tallied before the story has run its course.
The last story will be the aforementioned vampire tale, told by Dorf to Urban Cowboy. This one's the most perfunctory, hardly more than a joke having to do with venom from a vampire's fangs. Then the film is over.
Prey, Three Degrees Kelvin, & Torched have had separate releases. Only Anna Lynn & the framing material was original to Hell Hath No Fury.
Torched had its own film release in 2004. It was also paired on dvd with the twenty-minute violent sexploitation short Sex & Death: 1977 (2007), on the disc distributed as Sex & Death: The Movie Volume I (2007), which included an audio commentary for Torched, plus other extras. The dvd box for Hell Hath No Fury also promised a commentary track, but there wasn't one, someone accidentally alluded to material on other releases of some of the same material.
Sex & Death: 1977 is -- like the majority of these short films -- a bloody revenge piece with killer wife going batshit on her husband after he gives her a bizarre STD.
Three Degrees Kelvin & Prey were released on Sex & Death: The Movie, Volume II (2008). A third short rounds out that dvd, Heads Are Gonna Roll (2004), seventeen minutes of a gory shoot-out in a diner, featuring Brink Stevens with firearms.
Heads Are Gonna Roll is additionally recycled as one of the extras with the equally X-rated Vampires vs Zombies (2004).
The Vancouver, B.C. company responsible for all these films, Creepy Six Films, really likes to recycle stuff for maximum profits on minimal filmmaking.
Anyone unfamiliar with amateur porn-horror will not be able to believe how truly awful every part of Hell Hath No Fury is.
But those of us who've seen a lot of this sort of sub-par-even-for-direct-to-video movies-by-amateurs, well, it's actually not as bad as they come, & two of its spliced-in components, Three Degrees of Kelvin for humor, & especially Torched for gross-out sexploitation, are right fine little films buried in a surrounding muddle
Even allowing that much of the film is crappy even for such lowgrade filmmaking, Torched has all the exploitation content viewers tend to be after when looking at films Brain Damage distributes. And no one should be renting anything from Brain Damage without expecting exactly what Hell Hath No Fury delivers. But I'd also note that if you had a copy of Torched already, you don't really need any other the rest Hell Hath No Fury.
copyright © by Paghat the Ratgirl