Japanese Title: ANDROMEDEIA
Director: Takashi Miike

Reviewed by Paghat the Ratgirl

If a sixteen year old Down's Syndrome child had just won the "Be A Director Contest" & was given his childish dream-opportunity to make a science fiction movie for MTV starring his favorite boy-band, I'm sure the kid would come up with something better than this.

Miike has taken to thumbing his nose at the audiences as he hacks out bad films one after another. He's so capable of genius that it is worse than disappointing when he isn't even trying, as he really doesn't have the excuse that he's incapable of doing better.

One sees an inernational genius at work in eccentric films like Visitor Q & in such violent gangster escapades as Ichi the Killer. So how on earth could he make this dog? Either he despises his audience, or he despises youth, as even the tweens this trivial & unimaginative teensploitation film would have to be emotionally & intellectually retarded to be captivated by this load of hogswallow.

Essentially it's about a virtual girl created by an AI computer engineer while grieving over the loss of his daughter. He gets killed by evil corporate interests & the AI escapes via laptop computer. Laptop Girl gets to have some lame adventures with friends she had in life, including the above-mentioned boy band, for whom all action stops long enough for the music video bits to be spliced in very awkwardly. All the while, those evil corporate interests strive with inhumane vigor to get their hands on the computer program.

As developed, this science fiction claptrap rarely makes any particular sense & the film is so boring it just isn't worth the effort it would take to trump up some logic to patch over the sloppiness of it all. The special FX are as moronic as the script. In lieu of a climax there is syrupy sentimentality & whining & how pathetic if Miike really views youths as this idioticly banal.

Someone needs to take Miike behind the studio & give him a good thrashing, or stop letting him make movies until he can rediscover that they do count for something.

copyright by Paghat the Ratgirl

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